I will get straight to the point today: Have you ever achieved something and felt like it hasn’t had the expected impact, and it’s left you feeling somewhat anti-climatic? Are you always striving for the next promotion, the bigger house, the latest gadget, or the bigger car? Are you always looking for that one thing that’ll make everything seem worth it, but it’s always just out of reach? If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, this post was created for you because I will explain why this is happening and how you can break the cycle and set goals that’ll have the impact you’re looking for.
In most cases, we set goals based on what we think we need to have achieved at any given point, or because we aren’t happy with how our life is currently running, we take the initiative to do something about it. However, we often set these goals based on outside influences such as the media, peer pressure, social, cultural and religious coercion, and even our age! Many “by now, I should’ve achieved X, Y and Z” thoughts float around in our head, and we base our next desired achievement on those thoughts. This is where it all begins to go wrong because we’ve missed the point entirely while trying to ‘fit in’ with everyone and everything, the point being us and how we want to feel once we’ve arrived at that result.
How to set goals to get what you want.
Through my work and the teachings of my favourite lady, Danielle LaPorte, I’ve discovered a revolutionary way to set goals for myself and my clients. I wanted to share it before you get frustrated with your New Year’s resolutions. The magic to setting goals that satisfy and fulfil you once achieved is to set them based on how you want to feel rather than what you should be doing/having/being at any point. When was the last time you asked yourself how you wanted to feel and did something about it? Our feelings seem to have taken second place to practicalities, and we’ve ended up forgetting or even invalidating our emotions because, and I hate this phrase, ‘That’s the way it is.’
I decided to make this post practical as it’s much easier if you do the work yourself and you can feel the difference.
Take yourself somewhere quiet where you know you won’t be disturbed, and think about how you want to feel and write it down; it doesn’t always have to be one-word answers. Try to be as specific as you can get and avoid generic words like ‘successful’ or ‘happy’ by asking, ‘What does that look like to me?’ really hone down on that feeling.
Once you’ve exhausted the list and done all you can, review it, look for words or phrases with similar meanings and group them. The aim is to refine your list to no more than five words or phrases.
The results are your core desired feelings. This is how you want to feel and what drives you to take action on many things you do in your life. For example, my core desires are Influential, Affluent, Sensual, Divinely Connected, and Graceful. These are the core of all I have done, currently do, and strive to do.
The beauty of uncovering your core desired feelings is that once you know what they are, not only are your goals more on track with your soul and who you genuinely want to be, but you can create your tasks with them in mind, meaning that you make time for you to feel the way that you want every single day, how great is that? By no means am I saying do nothing else except what makes you feel the way you want to feel, but if you do more of what makes you feel good, everything else becomes less taxing and more fun. If you think that’s too easy and don’t believe a word I say, the proof’s in the pudding; try it out and see for yourself, and if you’re still not convinced, why not take advantage of my free discovery session, where I’ll be delighted to go into more details.
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Until next time, let me know what else you would like to know about. Also, I'd love to hear how this exercise worked for you.
With love as ever