I’m going to get straight to the point today; Have you ever achieved something and felt like it hasn’t really had the impact you expected and it’s left you feeling somewhat anti-climatic? Are you one of those people who are always striving for the next promotion, the bigger house, the latest gadget, or the bigger car? Are you always looking for that one thing that’ll make everything seem worth it, but it’s always just out of reach? If you answered, “yes” to any of these questions, this post was created for you because I’m going to explain why this is happening and how you can break the cycle and set goals that’ll have the impact you’re looking for.
In most cases we set goals based on what we think we need to have achieved at any given point, or because we aren’t happy with the way our life is currently running, so we take the initiative to do something about it. A lot of the time however, we set these goals based on outside influences such as the media, peer pressure, social, cultural and religious pressures, and even our age! A lot of, “by now I should’ve achieved X,Y and Z” thoughts float around in our head and we base our next desired achievement on those thoughts. This is where it all begins to go wrong, because we’ve missed the point completely while we’re trying to ‘fit in’ with everyone and everything, the point being us, and how we want to feel once we’ve arrived at that end result.
How to set goals to get what you really want.
Through my work and the teachings of my favourite lady, Danielle LaPorte, I’ve discovered a revolutionary way to set goals for myself and my clients, so I wanted to share it with you before you star getting frustrated with your New Year’s resolutions. The magic to setting goals that satisfy and fulfil you once achieved, is to set them based on how you want to feel, rather than what you should be doing / having / being at any one point. When was the last time you really asked yourself how you want to feel and did something about it? Our feelings seem to have taken second place to practicalities and we’ve ended up forgetting or even invalidating our own feelings because, and I hate this phrase, ‘That’s the way it is.’
I decided to make this post practical as it’s much easier if you do the work yourself and you can feel the difference.
Take yourself somewhere quiet where you know you won’t be disturbed and think about how you want to feel and write it down, it doesn’t always have to be one word answers. Try to be as specific as you can get and try to avoid generic words like ‘successful’ or ‘happy’ by asking ‘what does that look like to me?’, really hone down on that feeling.
Once you’ve exhausted the list and you’ve done all that you can, go over your list and look for words or phrases with similar meaning and group them together. The aim is to refine your list to no more than 5 words or phrases.
The results are your core desired feelings. This is how you want to feel and what drives you into taking action on many things that you do in your life. For example, my core desired feelings are; Influential, Affluent, Sensual, Divinely Connected, Graceful. These are the at the core of all that I have done, currently do, and strive to do.
The beauty of uncovering your core desired feelings is once you know what they are, not only are your goals more on track with your soul and who you truly want to be, you can create your tasks with them mind, meaning that you make time for you to feel the way that you want every single day, how great is that? By no means am I saying do nothing else except what makes you feel the way you want to feel, but if you do more of what makes you feel good, everything else becomes less taxing and more fun. If you’re thinking that’s too easy and don’t believe a word I say, the proof’s in the pudding, try it out and see for yourself, and if you’re still not convinced, why not take advantage of my free discovery session, where I’ll be delighted to go into more details.
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Until next time, let me know what else you would like to know about. Also I'd love to hear how this exercise worked out for you.
With love as ever